Egg Nog For the Neurotic

I’ll eat almost anything raw. I grew up being fed lumps of raw beef by my grandmother, the butcher’s wife, who believed it was good for the blood. As a result, I’ve always believed that a good, fresh product, properly handled, won’t hurt me or anyone I’m feeding. But whenever I’ve set out to make egg nog from scratch–for about five years running–my courage has failed. I think of my guests, too ill to open their Christmas presents, having encountered the only strain of malignant bacteria ever to enter my fridge.
This year, I felt emboldened by Orangette, whose family has been drinking the most unabashedly raw and profoundly alcoholic egg nog I’ve ever encountered, for four generations. On the eve of a Christmas dinner party for several people whom I love and would hate to poison–even temporarily–irrational fear crept in, my resolve collapsed, and I came up with the cooked-yolk version that follows.
I don’t suggest you live by my example. If you are of sound constitution, and if salmonella is not a problem in your area, do try a raw version. But if you’re nog-neurotic, like me, and see the cloying and clinging supermarket variety as your only option, you’ll find this a pleasant surprise.
Finally, if you’re an egg nog drinker whose season is wrapping up, I beg you to reconsider. This is the drink that helped English aristocrats of yore get through their winter, and so too may it help you.
Egg Nog
4 cups half-and-half
2 cups whole milk
3/4 cups sugar
10 large egg yolks
3/4 cup bourbon
3/4 cup brandy
Stir together the half-and-half, milk, and 1/2 cup of the sugar in a large, heavy saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring almost to a simmer.
Meanwhile, whisk the yolks and 1/4 cup sugar together in a large bowl. Add the milk mixture in a thin, slow stream, all the while whisking the yolks vigorously. (It’s helpful to enlist someone to do the pouring while you whisk.)
Return your custard to the saucepan and whisk constantly over low heat until it thickens, about 4 minutes. (Don’t let it boil.)
Transfer the custard to a large bowl set over another large bowl of ice water and let cool, stirring often. Whisk in your spirits and serve immediately, or cover and chill thoroughly, adding the booze just before serving.
Garnish with a grating of nutmeg, if desired.
Serves 10, I’d say.
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